i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
