Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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