Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
