Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
