Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize