This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
