3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
