I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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