But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
