you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
