The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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