i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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