plz talk dirty to me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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