its not stalking. its research.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
