Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize