i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Randomize
