He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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