Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
