Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
