Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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