so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
