i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Come on in and take your pants off
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