was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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