Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
