My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
