I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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