I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
