i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
