Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
