i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
