my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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