the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Randomize
