i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
