ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
