I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
