yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
