At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
