I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
