Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
