If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
