can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize