also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
