I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
