im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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