is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just forgot I was standing up.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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