Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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