I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize