Can i not drive my cunt home
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
