We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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