A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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