you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
