we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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