i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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