did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
