There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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