Apparently you make a good broom.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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