i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
