Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
