We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
this just has baby written all over it
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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