I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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