I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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