ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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