You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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