Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
